(Written November 2023/Edited January 2024)
Sitting in the dark
looking for the light,
I can see what’s all around me
despite
the black of night.
I can see myself reflected
within the looking glass -
Keen green eyes peering out,
inquisitively
looking back.
Eyes of wonder.
Eyes of pain.
Eyes of hope.
Eyes of shame.
That do not lack
any love, nor courage.
I hold fear
but I’m not afraid.
I will be strong
and learn to fight
but I’ll choose instead
to dance and write.
I am deep
within the dark
but all around me
I can see,
for the light is not external,
it emanates
from in me.
Others see it when we meet,
when we cross paths
on the street,
but I don’t see my light,
I see how others
treat me.
How strangers like to smile
and dogs come say hello.
How the elderly will talk to me
and the children’s eyes do glow.
I can smile at the children,
at the dogs and the crows.
I can greet the elderly,
and exalt all women
as I go.
But I cannot seem to smile
back at any man
because I’m more than just a face
within me, dimensions span.
Wars that I have fought in.
Heaven here on earth.
I have been in states
of ecstasy,
moments of pure bliss.
I have lived within
the depths of hell
but yes,
I have lived.
There are seas of black
around me.
There are stars
that guide my way.
I need the night to see them
they’re invisible by day.
I know I have a gift.
I know I’m a lone wolf.
But one day I hope that changes…
Where is the King of Hearts?
I have met kind princes,
many a valiant knight,
and far too many jokers
deep within the night.
I do not need saving.
Look! I saved myself.
I will take care of me.
I have got my back.
But still, this star is searching
for I, too,
long the light.
I miss loving touch —
Not just sex, nor lust,
but love.
Romantic love.
To remind me
of what touch
can truly be
about.
Nerve endings tingling.
Lips learning
as fingertips explore.
I yearn to taste
sweet kisses
mixed with smiles
to adore.
Telling smirks,
strong arms,
wrapped around
my body.
Guarding my heart,
protecting my mind,
from those whom unwittingly
harm me
(even though I don’t need it,
because, yes,
I have got me).
Am I a hopeless romantic?
No, I still have hope.
I do not know
what the future holds
but I know
it will be good.
Photo: Amy Frank (January 12, 2024)
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