I decided a while ago that today I would give myself the best Valentine’s Day ever—and I did! 🥰
I had a lovely day at work. It’s an honour to work at ICMHA. I enjoy my time with both my coworkers and the clients. The connections we have with other people really do add value to our lives; whatever those relationships may be.
Saba and I shared some sparkling apple juice once I was home from work (she’s got her own champagne glass to drink out of) then I treated myself to an AA meeting this evening for my 5 year sobriety birthday. I hadn’t attended a local AA meeting in years. After googling the directory, I chose to go to a meeting at Grace Lutheran Church. It’s near my place, a 15 minute power walk or so, and this particular church holds significance in my life.
When I was homeless as a teenager, I was picked up by the Boys and Girls Club and placed into a care home. My care home parents were good hearted people whom attended Grace Lutheran Church. Living with them was a turning point in my my life. They treated me like an equal when everyone else treated me like some messed up kid.
Grace Lutheran Church on Fort St. holds painful significance in my life as well, as does Valentine’s Day. My best friend was found dead in the parking lot of Grace Lutheran Church in 2021, at the age of 38. She died of an overdose (the opioid crisis) after running away from the institution that was supposed to be helping her. Rest in peace, beautiful Nicole. Gone but never forgotten. ❤️
This Valentine’s Day would have also been my friend Calvin’s 39th birthday. He died in 2022 at the age of 37 from complications with his own alcoholism. Rest in peace, sweet Calvin. You are sorely missed yet sometimes I feel you’re still with me somehow, somewhere, as is Nicole and all the others. 🫂
Now that I’m home, Saba’s out again. We’re listening to Mellow Music (we just had a mini dance party). Today is the best Valentine’s Day ever because I made it so. There’s been so much pain in this life, and there still is, yet there’s also been great joy. One of those joys for me comes from connecting with others who are on their own healing journeys.
One lovely thing I’ve learned this week, as a single woman, is that there are lots of good looking men in this world. That I am beautiful and talented. I am a free bird with a song in my heart and a compass guiding my soul. I have worked incredibly hard to be where I am. I am worthy of healthy romantic love and healthy friendships; of sobriety, and joy. I have earned my own love and respect by discovering my values and choosing to live in line with them. It’s not been easy road.
Whether you’re kissing someone tonight, crying (like I’ll be doing soon enough), or completely indifferent; I’m glad you’re here. You are worthy of love and everything that is good in life. Happy Valentine’s Day. 🌹
Huge Hugs,
~Amy & Saba
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